While preparing this page I started to remember the old rusted memories of my youth.

A typical rainy and foggy Samsun day

Sitting on a bench in front of 19 May Library which is directly in front of Mithat Paşa Girls School and reading ‘’voice and anger’’ by William Faulkner a book which has depth and beauty: and aged 51 is still my bedside book. I’ll go and see a movie named ‘’The Summer of 42’’ soon . It’s about 15 year old Hermie falling in love with a woman named Dorothy who’s 25 years his senior whose husband has been a soldier away from home , and having his first sexual experience with her, and giving her the best present which nobody has given before . As you read the book version it takes one inside giving pleasure to mind and to heart both.

As I read a sentence in the book ‘’past in not the past it is never the past’’ my whole system had been affected. I perspired all over, my nerves got on edge. I had many questions that I couldn’t answer. I understood the meaning of this sentence better as I got older and lost the ones I loved most. I don’t know how much time I spent thinking about this sentence than I found myself in a seat in the theater. I was moody when I entered the theater, and I was in the same mood when it was finished.

In that terrible weather when I got out of the movie I felt like a 40 year old. I started smoking and inhaling deeply, and started walking to İlyasköy talking to myself.

I felt the same while walking on the outskirts of the Pirene Mountains which is in the south of France and is 430 kms between France and Spain in region called Kathar.

This was the same feeling I had while walking to junior high school in İlyaskoy or gone to the sea to fish.

These feelings made me a person who’s a mixture of Samsun and Kathar. I’m from a muslim family and am an atheist myself and found myself in the same category with people who think they are real christians but deny the catholic church and its hiearchy and accept all people as one without prejudicing one for religion, ethnics, being a man or a woman , giving more attention to woman’s rights, believes in the equiality of all people, a people who are real love people and who wasn’t afraid to fall in fire .

The people of Kathar had been killed by the catholic church and its soldiers who killed for money , and the women and children were raped and killed so I felt the feeling of friendship and love and freedom has been restored to those mountains so much it felt its arms to me and accepted me as its own, and gave me love.

I’m a nervous active person on one side like all Karadeniz people are and like a Kathar on the other side : a sincere moody and close person. In phisocoly this is defined as two personalities. Is it a physical problem? Yes and no!! This is life in itself. Let people think what they want, I’m happy the way I’m.

So I name this site Samsun/Cathar.

Sometimes I’ll be angry and write things that might hurt people and sometimes write about my feelings like a child like Hermie has written to Dorothy . I’ll write about my thoughts in philosopy political and socialogy.

Sometimes I’ll write like the Kathar people getting themselves into the fire , and sometimes like playing poker in a Samsun cafe and using slang.

Sometimes I’ll be with Jorge Semprun in a nazi camp in 1944 sometimes I’ll be in Madrid with him and fight. Sometimes I’ll be fighting against Stalin. Sometimes I’ll be living the lives of people who had to depart their countries.

Sometimes I’ll walk along Primo Levi on long voyages. Sometimes we’ll fight against German people being silent about the holacoust. Sometimes we’ll go all over the world fighting against this holacoust.

But I’ll mostly say ‘’We were all brothers’’ like Bertrand Marty of the perfect Kathar people.

The catholic church insists that this philosophy is over , but it’s still running secretly. Whenever this subject is reopened the catholic church says it has happened in the past. There’s nothing to do about it now.

Being perfect is used for both man and woman since in Kathar philosphy both man and woman religious body can be perfect and this philosophy is the essential difference between other religions that has one God. These people don’t eat meat, don’t have sexual intercourse, have no pleasures of any kind and are against all kinds of fight and force. They deal with only science and faith.